IT R UR BIRFDAY

[powerisyours]

[ the lab is clean, the table's set, the dogs are securely out of the way, and the candle on a small cake sitting on the counter's lit. all that's missing is the birthday girl, and this dude's watching the door like a hawk, drumming his fingers on the tabletop impatiently

because cake

and also birthday!!! ]

Comments

[ridestherider]

Because certain kinds of affection are a bad idea, here.

And for me in general, probably.

[powerisyours]

Which kinds?

[ridestherider]

The romantic kind and ... the stuff that usually follows that, if it ever went in that direction.

Every once in a while I think there's ... I dunno, I feel something out of the ordinary, and it freaks me out. I don't want to end up without you, too, because that's how that generally works out for me.

[powerisyours]

[ making a small noise in the back of his throat and settling back down, shifting a bit to rest his forehead on her shoulder ]

If that's what you want, I won't let you do it again. Just keep in mind I'm in the same boat, more or less. I know it's going to happen eventually, so as far as I'm concerned, I'd rather make as many good memories as I can, while I still can.

[ and lifting his head again ]

However, if I'm going to end up with paws, you'd be the first choice of partners.

[ridestherider]

What I want and what's better aren't always the same thing.

[You get headpets.] ... thank you, I think.

[powerisyours]

[ nuzzling against her hand ]

You're talking to the person who was told on more than one occasion that he's too selfless and never takes anything for himself. If anyone understands that concept, it's me. But I'm starting to think that maybe it's okay to want things sometimes, too.

[ridestherider]

It's not just about me.

[powerisyours]

Then?

[ridestherider]

It's not fair to anyone involved.

[powerisyours]

What is it, exactly, that you want? Setting aside logistics and fears and all that.

[ridestherider]

Things I can't have. I don't know.

[powerisyours]

Things such as?

[ridestherider]

Jiu Wu, I don't know exactly, alright? Just -- not what I've had.

[Trying to squirm out from under you.]

[powerisyours]

[ he actually looks genuinely apologetic and he's rolling himself off ]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. Or, well, I guess I did, but I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.

[ridestherider]

It's complicated, okay? I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you.

I never should have started anything. Or said anything.

[powerisyours]

[ headpets for you ]

Don't worry about it. I shouldn't have pushed, and I should've listened the first time when you said not to let you.

[ rubbing the back of his head and he might actually seem a little awkward when he continues ]

But . . . for the record, if it's you, that's a risk I'm willing to take.

[ridestherider]

Jiu Wu, I love you too much to have this blow up in my face. I hope you can understand that.

I'm not as brave about it as you are. I know where I stand with everybody else and you're one of so few people that might not just walk away if I don't mess everything up.

[powerisyours]

I know. I do understand it. I can't disagree. There are too many "what if"'s. Too many ways I could mess it up, or make you not want to be around me anymore.

Honestly? I don't know where I'd be right now if you hadn't taken me in back then. That gesture alone is enough to make me want to do whatever I can to see that you're reasonably happy.

[ridestherider]

You could never make me not want to be around you.

[powerisyours]

I can honestly say the same thing about you. I know you think I exaggerate, or say you're better than you really are, but I don't. I don't expect you to be anyone but you--flaws and all.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm keeping you for as long as I possibly can.

[ridestherider]

[You are not helping me not want to kiss you, dammit.]

[powerisyours]

[ I could go find a ferret to braise?

Alternately I can scoot up against your side and take your hand and squeeze it ]

And I'll take whatever comes with keeping you, too.

[ridestherider]

[Squeezing back and leaning on you.]

Sorry I ruined things today.

[powerisyours]

[ leaning in and pecking her cheek ]

You didn't ruin anything, Natsumi. If anything, I was the downer.

[ridestherider]

Why would you think that?